I'm struggling with questions of self-worth today.
Decisions we make on an impulse and consequences we have to face resulting from these momentary lapses. I vaguely remember studying about the ethics of drawing the line. Something along the lines of...'when you cross your limits, that thin boundary of what is okay keeps extending itself enabling you to make stupider choices and faulty decisions'.
Why then, are we like this? Why are we always presenting ourselves in situations that force us to cross that limit? 'Have a little more fun', 'let go and be silly because you're not going to be 22 again'? I've heard these from friends, distant and close. But in reality, it doesn't change the way you look at yourself once you've made poor choices. We cease to respect ourselves, and nothing can be more frightening than that.
Whether it's smoking your first cigarette, having your first shot of tequila, sleeping with a stranger, telling a lie hoping that someone doesn't find out, reaching out to someone who clearly doesn't want to be reached out to or having expectations from an individual not worth expecting from. We all have experienced one or the other.
It's one thing to experiment with your youth and another thing to waste it. It's one thing to try these things for the first time for the thrill of it and continuously fall into this pattern of making poor choices by justifying it with fallacy.
Sometimes, it is important to see ourselves in the eyes of another. Would you respect yourself if you made the choices you made? If not, learn from them.
Because, the first step is acknowledgement.